You know, when I heard the term, I agreed with it, until I found out what people were doing and calling honour killings. More honestly, most who use the term should be calling what they do “ego killings” or “possessive asshole killings”. What I assumed people were calling for are actually still required.
Honour killing; when I was a boy I absolutely understood what this meant, due to the instruction I received from my own father and grandfather about a man’s duties, in preparation for the day that I had both a man’s power, and drives. As simply as I can put it, for every woman raped, there should be a rapist’s corpse hanging from a tree. Now I will grant you that we won’t catch all of them, but to hear that a man has multiple rape convictions and not only lives, but is free to walk our streets makes me wonder what happened to the honour of men.
When a man rapes a woman, a child, or any other he has power over, he is defecating on the honour of men. This is my honour, and I treasure it. I have loved hundreds of women, perhaps not always wisely, but never has a woman gone to my bed other than willingly, nor left other than happily. I am a large man, skilled in violence, and with a face that is known by many for laughter and smiles, but can just as easily be seen as harsh or brutal. Women who do not know me, frequently keep their physical distance for the very simple reason that they have learned to equate men with predator, and that immediately puts me into the predator, large, dangerous, category in their eyes.
This is called paying attention. They are right.
Here are the numbers
- Of every 100 incidents of sexual assault, only 6 are reported to the police
- 1 – 2% of “date rape” sexual assaults are reported to the police
- 1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime
- 11% of women have physical injury resulting for sexual assault
- Only 2 – 4% of all sexual assaults reported are false reports
- 60% of sexual abuse/assault victims are under the age of 17
- over 80% of sex crime victims are women
- 80% of sexual assault incidents occur in the home
- 17% of girls under 16 have experienced some form of incest
- 83% of disabled women will be sexual assaulted during their lifetime
- 15% of sexual assault victims are boys under 16
- half of all sexual offenders are married or in long term relationships
- 57% of aboriginal women have been sexually abused
- 1/5th of all sexual assaults involve a weapon of some sort
- 80% of assailants are friends and family of the victim
That last one really says it all. 80% of the rapists held positions of trust. Women have to learn that even the men they have the most reason to trust may well be the rapist they need protection from.
Sumbel is a magical ritual practiced by the Asatru, also known as Heathens, in which we come together in the sight of the gods and ancestors as a community and we share with each other. We boast of the deeds we have done, the struggles we have faced, and the things we have overcome. To hear the boasts of what each has done makes the community stronger, as it shows each of us what we can do if we try, even as it brings glory to those who have accomplished the deeds so boasted. Then there are the brags, the things we stand before our community and say we will do, we take oath before those we must face again and again of the things we WILL do. This is a challenge thrown to ourselves, and the whole of the community shares part of the luck you will gain in keeping this oath, as we are witness to it. So too do we have a stake in seeing your brag fulfilled, because failure to do so is mostly yours, but also partly ours as well, since we stood witness to it. In this way we have a stake in the success of each member of the community.
One of the things about sumble that makes it powerful is that the things we share are often deeply personal, the silent struggles that are behind the quick answer we give socially to the question of “how are you doing”. Sumbel with those that you trust is the place to share your battles to overcome the internal wounds, the things that take everything you have, and sometimes more than you alone can offer, just to keep going.
One young woman shared her struggle. Now I had known that she had been assaulted, but not the particulars. This young woman had undertaken to serve others, to put her body between citizens and danger, to make of her life an offering of service. She had made the cut as one of the select few to qualify for training, been near the top of her class in that training, and yet, among those she trained with, who should have been her brothers in service, was her rapist to be.
It has taken years for her to rebuild, but she is returning to complete her training, carrying the wounds of treachery from those she had been training to trust with her life, as they were all training to be entrusted with the lives of us all. Her honour is unstained and shining. Somewhere out there is a worthless piece of shit rapist whose blood needs to spill upon the stones before men everywhere can meet this young woman’s eyes with pride again.
Rapists do not violate the honour of women, they abuse women. There is no honour lost to those who are attacked, the honour of men is what is lost, and it can only be restored when we have washed our steel or decorated trees with the worthless crow fodder who have taken the honour of all men and dragged it through the sewers with their abuse of women, especially those who trusted them.
98% of rapists will never do a day in jail. I get this, I really do. I have helped women who have been attacked go through the reporting to police and through the emergency rooms to get the rape kit collected. At every stage, EVERY SINGLE PROFESSIONAL took pains to explain to each of the raped women how much inconvenience her report was going to cause for each of them, how little chance it was going to lead to anything, and did she still want to waste everyones time? The police, the nursing staff, every single level seemed to make it clear that she was really making a big fuss about this and wasting time that ought to be spent on more worthy pursuits.
As a soldier, the level of care the police and medical system show toward those who have been sexually assaulted makes me want to take them all out back for a motivational shit kicking. Those who have already been abused and betrayed by those they had reason to trust are now betrayed a second time by a system that is perfectly willing to shame them further, and make them doubt their own worth.
Honestly, this isn’t good enough.
A rapist has done three things.
1) They have committed an assault against an individual.
2)They have turned the act of love, an act designed to bring joy and even to create life, and turned it into a tool for hurting, humiliating the person they rape.
3)They have take from them the trust or respect they once held towards the gender that raped them.
I know I didn’t rape them, they know I didn’t rape them, but 80% of rapists were trusted by them already when they committed the offense. The fact they may feel they can trust me now means nothing, as they have already been shown that is the position from which the rapist struck.
Rape kills respect and it kills trust. It can destroy self worth in the person who is attacked, which is bloody ironic when you think about the person who was attacked has done nothing wrong, and the piece of garbage who raped them probably doesn’t feel bad at all about doing so.
So, the honour killing concept. My honour as a man is besmirched when a man chooses to rape. My honour would be cleaned if we washed it in the blood of the rapist.
Now some of you are going to argue about the intrinsic worth of all human beings, and I am going to laugh at you. We are our deeds. Those who have been raped have had their worth stolen, and those who have chosen to rape have no worth at all.
Killing the rapist will not fix the victims. Well of course it won’t. It will do precisely three things
- Stop that person from ever raping anyone else. Recidivism rate among the dead is 0%
- It will show those who were raped that we as a society really do feel what was done to them was serious, was wrong, and was so deeply abhorrent to us that we will not permit the scum who did this to breath the same air as those they chose to hurt
- The honour of men that was dragged through the sewers by this rapist in life will be washed clean of his particular filth with his death. We are our deeds, but our worth as a society, and as a gender is also shaped by the deeds of others we permit.
Women who have been raped, and indeed men who have been raped (the latter category learn quickly there is NO safe space to talk about it) will continue to deal, or not deal, with the wounds inflicted upon them based on their own internal resources, community resources, and individual nature. There are way too many of them, and there are more every day. That is not good enough. We need to do better.
Some of them learn to trust again to an extent, but they have learned the truth, they MUST NOT trust too far, for there really are predators among us.
You wish to use education to stop this? I agree, but not when they have raped. I want to see the line drawn against the abuse of women with zero tolerance. You don’t get to run your mouth, as long as you don’t touch her. You don’t get to play grab ass while you have her trapped and then laugh it off and say you were just playing around. You want to stop rape, how about letting the police deal with this level, let education have its day now, while all they have done is terrify. If they cross the line and rape a woman, let them hang by the neck until dead, let the crows feast on their corpse and dump it into the next outhouse you need to fill in.
This is my personal opinion and not the policy of any organization or group of which I am now or have ever been a member of. I am not advocating extra judicial killing, as I really do believe the state alone has that power, they just fail to use it to protect their own citizens.